Writing your own vows can feel overwhelming at first. You want them to sound beautiful, meaningful, and honest. You want your partner to feel seen. And you want your guests to witness something real without feeling like you are performing for a crowd.

Your vows do not need to sound like poetry. They do not need to be long. They do not need to impress anyone in the room. You are writing to one person. The person you chose. The person who knows your heart. So take a breath and remember that the only thing that makes vows meaningful is honesty.

To make this simple, I love using a little twist inspired by the three ghosts of Christmas who visit Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. It gives you an easy formula to follow and it helps you write vows that feel personal and grounded in your real story.

Here is how it works.

Vow Section One: The Ghost of Your Past

What brought you here

Start with your past.
Think about the moments that shaped you. When did you first know you loved them? Remember the funny stories, the sweet surprises, or the little things that made you feel loved.

You can write about the moment you knew they were your person.
Or the things they did in those early days that made you feel loved.
Or the ways they stood by you during hard seasons.

This part sets the tone. It helps your partner hear how your story began and why they matter so much.

Short and heartfelt is perfect.

Vow Section Two: The Ghost of Your Present

What you love about them today

Next, talk about your present.
This is your chance to say what you love about them right now. How do they comfort you? What do they do that makes your life easier? What makes you laugh or feel calm or feel understood.

You can mention the small things they do that matter the most.
The way they make coffee just how you like it.
The way they always check in when they know you are overwhelmed.
The steady way they love you without making you earn it.

This is where your vows feel the most personal because these are the things only you could name.

This part reminds them they are cherished exactly as they are.

Vow Section Three: The Ghost of Your Future

What you promise moving forward

End with your future.
This is where your actual promises live. Vows do not need to be perfect or poetic. They just need to be true.

Think about the kind of partnership you want to build.
What do you hope for together?
Think about the kind of spouse you want to be.

Your vows pull everything together with soft, simple commitments.

Keep it honest. Keep it kind. Keep it real.

A Final Reminder

Your vows are not a performance. They are a gift.

You are speaking from your heart to the one person in the room who already loves you completely. When your words come from that place, they will always be perfect.

If you want help editing your vows or turning your ideas into something polished and beautiful, I am always happy to help. Vows are one of my favorite things to hear because they show the real heart behind your wedding day.

You’ve got this!

Hugs!